February 9, 2015

Getting a divorce is never an easy decision. But, it may be the only way to bring some stability to a volatile relationship. Even though divorce can be the best solution for peace in a broken marriage, it is often accompanied by anger, confusion, feelings of insecurity, and doubt. And, those can be the NICE feelings. It’s important to remember that those feelings aren’t unique to spouses. If you happen to have children with your spouse, your kids will be experiencing many of the same feelings you are.

Studies have shown that, unfortunately, many children develop behavioral concerns as a way of dealing with divorce at home. They need an outlet to express what they are feeling, and often find it through acting out.

As you deal with all of the legal aspects of your divorce, you can help to make the transition go as smoothly as possible for your kids. Here are four simple tips to help your children cope with a divorce in a healthy way.

1. Find Creative Ways to Communicate Love.  Your kids will probably be feeling very confused and concerned about their standing within the new family structure. Look for creative and interactive ways to let your kids know how much they are loved and treasured, and that the divorce is not their fault. This will help them feel secure in a very uncertain time.
2. Try to minimize arguments around your children. This will probably be very difficult, but it’s important to keep arguments/differences between you and your spouse separated from your role as parents to your children. Even though divorce is the best solution for your problems, you can help your children cope by creating an environment of peace and stability around them as much as possible. Your family structure may be changing, but your children still need to feel supported and loved by both parents.
3. Encourage your children’s open communication. Your children may have many questions about the divorce. Invite them to ask any questions they have. Why is this happening? Do they have to move or change schools? Is it their fault? Be prepared to answer honestly, but appropriately. Encouraging them to talk honestly about their feelings can help them to feel empowered instead of helpless. Open communication can be therapeutic for them as well. Your goal is to help them understand that they matter and that their voice should be heard, too.
4. Be present and available for your kids. If you have visitation arrangements made with your children, be on time. Make time in your schedule to spend with your children doing the things that matter to them. Quality time together can help solidify your parent/child relationship during a turbulent season.
5. Communicate your family situation with the necessary adults. You might not think your divorce is anyone else’s business, and in reality, it’s not. But, simply communicating your pending divorce with school teachers or principals, sports coaches, or other adults that regularly interact with your children can give those adults the added understanding and maybe extra patience that your child may need.

Divorce is never easy, but sometimes, it may be best for your family. There isn’t a magic wand that can wave away your children’s worries or fears. But, you can help make the transition a little easier for them along the way by a few intentional acts on your part.

Contact Toledo divorce attorney Michael E. Bryant’s Toledo, OH law office today to get the justice you deserve.

Find Michael E. Bryant online at www.mebryantlaw.com, visit our law office in Toledo, OH on the second floor of 1119 Adams St. or call us at (419) 243-3922.