April 11, 2023

Ending a marriage is never easy. It is often a decision that comes after a long period of stress and heartache. One of the best things you and your spouse can do as you part ways is to commit to an amicable divorce. Avoiding a contentious divorce where you and your spouse are trying to destroy each other will save you not only money, but stress on yourself and your children. If you and your spouse agree to proceed through a divorce amicably, there are some common pitfalls ahead to avoid.

Avoid Casting Blame to Keep a Peaceful Divorce

Regardless of the factors that led to the failure of your marriage, you can keep a peaceful divorce by deciding to move forward without casting blame. Very rarely is the divorce the fault of one spouse alone, but during the divorce process it is very easy to make your spouse out to be the “bad” one. Although it’s an understandable instinct, it is almost never productive. Instead of looking back to what went wrong and whose fault it was, focus on the future and move on.

Look at the Big Picture and Don’t Die on Every Hill

Little issues feel like a big deal when filing for divorce. There are many details that can derail a peaceful divorce. Before you get bogged down in fighting over everything from division of assets to custody to spousal support, take the time to figure out what is most important to you. Make a list of priorities. When you picture yourself on the other side of this marriage, what do you want? What are your non-negotiables, what are your needs, and what are your wants? This is especially important if you and your spouse have children. Most parents are very worried about how a divorce will impact their children. Decide what you want your future to look like with your children, and adjust your behavior accordingly.

Don’t Be Dishonest

The hallmark of a peaceful divorce is being able to negotiate in good faith. This means that both spouses trust each other to report assets, debts, and income. If one spouse attempts to hide financial information, it will almost certainly come out later and can derail an amicable divorce. If you are going to divorce peacefully, you need to trust each other. An agreement that is fair to both spouses is only possible if both spouses are honest during the divorce proceedings.

When Filing for Divorce, Don’t Use Your Children as Pawns

A peaceful divorce is very beneficial for children. The healthiest children of divorce are the ones who have co-parents who work together to put the needs of the children first. This is where mediation can be very helpful, as it works on improving relationships, even during the separation process. To keep your children’s needs at the forefront, commit to decide together what’s best for them as parents, not to win a battle against an opponent. Resolving child support and custody fairly will keep your children from becoming victims of your divorce.

When you decide on a peaceful divorce, speak to a lawyer about your commitment to end your marriage amicably. Finding the right attorney can help you file for divorce without dragging out the fight, and will get you through the process quickly so you can begin the next phase of your life. If you’re going through a divorce, contact my office today.